In How I Earned My Wrinkles, Musings on Marriage, Motherhood and
Menopause, I poked fun at myself in quite a few chapters.
I have to be very careful with the order of those words. If I confuse
them (like that could happen) it’s totally different story.
Just imagine Marriage, Menopause and Motherhood:
If I had a baby during menopause! In addition to finding my purse,
keys and peanut butter, I’d have to find the baby!
Menopause and marriage……let’s be honest. No man in his right mind
would marry a woman in the midst of menopause. Nothing says romance like a hot-flashing, angry,
bloated, crying woman. Let’s add totally confused to keep it real.
I’m still waiting for the review that is painfully honest. The book did get 5 star reviews and not a single
person mentioned my wisdom.
“Anne Bardsley is envied for her firm, toned & tan, thighs. They distract the public from that roll she has
produced on her belly. She’s going to need to do more squats if she wants to distract them from
that mole shooting out a 3” hair on her left cheek (facial cheek). Do not believe her when she says,
“Oh, it’s my wisdom reaching out into the universe. It’s like an antenna.”
Hell no! It’s a freaking mole hair. If she doesn’t cut it soon, she’ll be able to hang laundry out to dry on it.
She is delusional if she thinks that what wisdom looks like.”
Imagine there is a 3″ hair with a nice wave, gently swaying in the breeze…on
my left cheek. You can barely notice it here because I tweezed it ever so gently….
while my foot was locked in place on the tub…. for added traction. I think the roots
went down to my toes.
Let’s face it there will never be an article about my toned and tan thighs or hopefully my mole hair on
my left (facial) cheek. I feel the need to clarify which cheek.
Since my birthday a few weeks ago, I developed sore butt bones. My husband jokes that I have
Arthritic Ass Syndrome….ASS is the acronym. I seriously can’t sit for long.
So what’s woman to do? I recline, naturally. Which means I fall asleep in minutes.
Do not touch my wisdom mole while I am sleeping!