Ohhhh! I read that statement and thought, “Where’s my list?”
There are so many things I think about doing. I give them serious thought, to be honest.
I thought about throwing out all my panties and replacing them with thongs. I thought about it for three straight weeks. I obsessed over the colors, the width of the thongs, how would it look if I bent over and people could tell I was sporting a thong. I mean at sixty-five, there can’t be a lot of women sporting thongs in my neighborhood.
Every time I saw a woman bend over in the supermarket, I checked out her rear end.
There were a few who had absorbent flowered panties, but no thongs. It must be an age thing, I decided. That would not deter me from being adventuresome, youthful and sexy.
No sir! I purchased a red, lace, beautiful, skimpy thong. The woman at the check-out snickered when she put it in a bag. “Is this for you?” she asked.
“Yes, I replied. It’s a little more fabric than I usually wear, but summer is coming. I can always use it at a bathing suit bottom,” I replied sweetly. Her eyes got big.
I sped home to try on my new sexy lingerie. I got a bit confused and put my legs in the wrong holes, but after three tries, I stood in front of the mirror and gasped. I looked beautiful! I moved my hips to model an action shot. That’s when the top band started to roll down over my belly. I returned it to its correct placement. Dare I look at my rear view? I giggled.
“You sexy thang, you!” I complimented myself as I strutted to the full-length mirror. If only I had a pair of blue cowgirl boots to match my blue eyes! I’d have a patriotic look with my red thong, white belly and blue boots. I could dazzle my husband when he got home.
I turned slightly to get a back view and I was a tad, just a tad, disappointed. It seems my derriere has plummeted toward the back of my knees. The poor little thong was barely visible. This is not what I had envisioned at all.
My husband arrived amid my personal fashion show. He stared at me for a few minutes, rubbed his chin and said, “You know what you need? A nice pair of blue cowgirl boots to match your pretty blue eyes.”
I don’t think even cowgirl boots can fix this one.