I confess. I read the books. All three of them! I read them before my daughters, who were shocked that I would read one, let alone all three. It’s not like we haven’t all fallen into an interview and been seduced by a wealthy, odd, sex maniac. Come on, you know it’s true. We’ve all had this happen. Real life is just like in the movies.
When all of the buzz on the first book started, I was curious. I ordered it on my Kindle and settled in to see what all the excitement was about. Well, there was a lot of excitement! I’d never heard or ever want to experience some of those things. I still can’t figure out why he asked her to keep her bladder full while she rode into him naked on a rope. Doesn’t that just scream, “I just pissed my pants! or lack thereof?” How romantic!
Now if I remember, and I did try to block it out, there were also some kind of vaginal clamps. Seriously? In my mind they looked like battery charger clamps. I couldn’t even help a friend with a dead battery after this vision. I just sat with my legs crossed, shaking and writhing in fear. I think it gave me PTBC (post traumatic battery clamps syndrome). Who even thinks this would be a fun idea?
I knew I must be getting too much sex info when I cruised through many pages just to see where their relationship was going. It was sex overload! She did this…He did that…blah.. blah.. raw sex..hump …hump… turn the page.
And let me just say it here so it’s very clear to everyone. If my husband ever brought home a waif of a woman and bathed her, he is out of here! I don’t care how sexy-hot his fun room of horrors is.
Now that I have that off my chest, I am going to go empty my bladder and breathe a sigh of relief. That damn rope was burning my hands.