Want to get rid of wrinkles? Stop laughing!
This week I scheduled my first chemical peel. This magic application will peel off my dead layers of skin. It will sting and possibly burn. It will itch when layers of skin peel off. I will look like I’ve got sunburn, but only on my face. It’s the price of a wrinkle free life.
My husband actually suggested I try it after he had a few pre-cancerous cells removed from his head. “All of the girls in the dermatologist office have beautiful skin. Not a single wrinkle on the entire staff,” he said amazed. “First of all they are all in their twenties.
Secondly, they don’t live with you,” I reminded him. You are The Wrinkle Maker. Your mother gave me at least a thousand over the years. It must be genetic.”
He pretended not to hear me. “There are racks of eye creams, skin firming, deep cleansing masks, night creams, day creams, decoutage creams, and night serums in our bathroom. It looks like a wrinkled hoarder lives her!”
He’s actually right, but he better not touch a single thing! I am not cheap when it comes to beauty products. In fact, I will sign up for auto ship, so I don’t miss a day to look like the model on the advertisement. It seems that these people think I’m using tons of it monthly because I’m still on my first jar and there are six kits all lined up ready for me to break them open.
My husband doesn’t need to know how much I’ve spent on beauty products. I could have bought a tiny house with all that money. If I had one in my backyard, I’d have a peaceful oasis when my big house got too hectic; Okay when people bothered me, to be honest. My husband and I are the only ones in the house, so I guess he would be the botherer.
When I made the appointment for the chemical peel, I called to cancel my auto ship and guess what happened. They offered to keep me as a customer for half price if the shipments continued. I rubbed my wrinkled for head to do the math. “No, No I have enough to last until 2027, thanks so much,” I held firm.
It dawned on me that these miracle programs are not so miraculous. I’ve only tried thirteen of them so I shouldn’t say that, honesty. (Thirteen companies, not creams.)
I still have wrinkles. I need to stop frowning, laughing and raising my eyebrows. There will be no more knee slapping, almost tinkle my panties, raucous laughter coming from my mouth.
After several peels, I declare a more solemn Anne will surface. She will have beautiful, firm skin and she will not break that look by smiling. She won’t even smirk.
She will be serious and if a little giggle tries to squeak out, she will subdue it gracefully. Just the thought of it, throws me into a knee slapping, belly laugh as I snort on my way to the bathroom.
The wrinkle count is going up!