My husband is the organized one in our family. He even folds his underwear. And they’re all in one drawer. He even keeps a little brown notebook with all of his passwords and account numbers logged. I am not permitted to write in that book because it must be neat printing and the ink must be black. I personally think a little color would do that book some good, but again, I am not allowed to go into that book. This brings me to my next problem.
How in the world is any normal person expected to remember all of these passwords? My husband’s passwords are always unique. He’ll see a picture of an airplane and use the numbers on the plane…NJ260A. My personal favorite was when he chose Viper from the movie Top Gun. Now how am I supposed to know this? I use my kid’s birthdates, their birth weight, date they walked…normal things. My husband also uses our address mixed in with my social security number and his favorite number. Seriously, I am in the midst of menopause. I can barely remember his name, let alone his favorite number. I still don’t know what it is.
Sometimes he gets really inventive and uses half a birthday with his favorite hockey player’s number, the month of our an anniversary and the year of one of our kid’s birth. We have 5 kids. Do you think I can grasp that with my menopausal mind? It’s like a Rubix Cube! I would wear out a debit machine touch pad trying to get the numbers right. I’d be at the register with ice cream melting all over the place begging, “Please, please just wait one more minute. I almost have it figured out. It has something to do with Tom Cruise and Top Gun.”
This is what happens when an organized mind meets a menopausal mind. My husband thinks all of these different passwords keep his brain fresh. Well unless I carry around a telephone book size password book, I am lost. It does not help my brain. It scrambles it. I can do that on my own, thank you very much. And I don’t need the additional 20 pounds to lug around.
In an effort to relieve my stress, I suggested we make all of the passwords the same. He argued that it is a very bad thing to do as it makes identity theft easier. If they crack one code, they can get them all. I understand the reasoning. So I am now in charge of passwords:
Debit card…..1157 mom’s birthday month and HGTV channel
Electric company….zap me!
Craig’s List……need a deal?
Life was much easier until I forgot my own passwords:
E-mail -I swore it was Apple, not computer.
My debit card- I swore was my birthday month and the Hallmark channel.
Amazon- I swore was Big Woman. Who ever made it mosquito?
Insurance- I swore I made that one BLOOD, all caps.
Electric company- I swore I made it lightbulb. No, it seems I made it zapme.
Craigs List- I swore was ComenGet it, not needadeal?
And so the drama continues. It’s not like anyone would want any of this information. However, if someone is willing to pay my electric bill, I will gladly give them my password. What the hell is it?