I thought I could handle it. It was the first anniversary of my mom’s passing. I didn’t want to sit around and cry all day. I thought if I went to my gift shop, I’d stay busy and I could get through the day without tears. To be certain of a distraction, I brought a big wicker basket with four of our kittens who were ready for a good home.
My store was “Anne’s House of Angels…Gifts From the Heart.” The store was filled with angels and gifts to touch one’s heart. Years prior, I’d had a visit from two angels and it changed my life. I wanted to pass along the peace and love that came to me during that visit.
I made a sign that read Free Angelic Kittens. The kittens wandered the store. One minute they were climbing on a rocking chair that held singing angel bears and the next, they fell asleep in the basket. No tissues were needed. One by one the kittens were taken. There was just one little, gray, female left when neighbor shop owner came by to visit. She held the kitten, stroking her as the kitten curled into her arm.
“Do you think she’ll miss her mom?” she asked innocently.
She did not just say that!!
My heart exploded. The floodgates opened. I was sobbing as I rang up purchases. One customer made a comment, “You must really hate to see that kitten leave.” He had no idea that it was my mom I missed. “I’ve never seen such a cat lover in my life,” he continued. This happened at two in the afternoon. I cried until five o’clock and all the way home too.
Whatever made me think that I could block such sadness by working? How strong do I think I am? It was insanity. I would never suggest that to another person in my life. I couldn’t even tell anyone the real reason for my tears. Every time I tried to explain, the sadness got deeper and my tears came harder.
I inherited my work ethic from my mom. She worked through every issue in her life. I come from ridiculous work genes. There was always work to be done and no time for tears.
My mom would have told me, “Get yourself together, Anne,” if she’d been alive and at the store that day. She’d have given me a pat me on the back, handed me some tissues and brewed a pot of tea. There was never time to be this sad.
The strange thing is a few days later, one of the mediums who did angel readings at the store called me. She said, “This is going to sound very strange. I got a message from your mom this morning.”
“I didn’t request a reading,” I told her.
“I know,” she continued, “This is just a message that she asked me to deliver to you.”
“Like a special delivery message?” I asked chuckling.
“You decide,” she said.
“She was holding a kitten. She wants you to know you don’t have to be sad. She is in a good place now. She loves you and will never leave your side.”
She asked, “What was that about?” curiously. “Your mom has a kitten in Heaven?”
I laughed and I cried, explaining it all.
“That was one of the most emotional days in my life,” I told her as I sniffled.
“Do you think the kitten will miss her mom?” the shop owner had asked.
I didn’t know, but I sure missed mine.
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