I answered my phone to one of my favorite little voices on the other end. I love random phone calls to hear little tidbits of life from my grandchildren. “Gigi,” Riley said in an annoyed voice, “Kaylee wrote on my legs and my feet.” I giggled to myself. “Oh No! What color pen did she…
Hearing Aids And Herpes
Today I asked my husband if he wanted a piece of Hershey’s. He looked shocked. “Hell no! When and where did you get herpes?” he yelled. I said, “Hershey’s, the chocolate bar, not herpes!” I plugged his hearing aids in his ears a bid forcefully, I admit. I never thought I would like my husband’s…
Sex Talk At The Greek Deli
I was standing in line, patiently waiting my turn, at our local Greek Deli. While admiring the pastries in the refrigerated counter in front of me, an older gentleman tapped my shoulder and asked, “Do you mind if I get in get in line behind you? I’d rather be behind a beautiful lady than a…
The Housekeepers Grew Up
When our five kids were growing up our house was always a mess. Footballs, basketball, dollhouses, a litter of kittens, an English Mastiff who drooled, an aquarium with a lizard in it, babies in strollers, trucks, hockey nets, and that was just the living room. I kept a vacuum cleaner at the front door…
Nipples On My Knees and Other Joys of Menopause
I thought I’d grown warts on my knees. When I pinched them, I felt a tingle in my nipples. I looked to the Heavens and prayed, “Dear God, please don’t let those big old warts really be my nipples!” I kept praying until the tingling went away. I inspected them closely. “Oh crap! They were…
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