Now that I’m a Grandmom, a GiGi actually, I have clear insight into the brain of a
three-year old. When my kids were three, I was too exhausted to figure out dinner,
let alone child psychology. This letter explains everything you need to know for
a happy life with a child.
Dear Mommy and Daddy,
I’m only three-years-old, but I know what will make us all happy.
I hope you and Daddy will like my ideas.
Stop yelling, “Slow down,” when I am running. That’s why I run…to go fast! I am a
good runner and if I slow down, I won’t be a good runner. I’ll be a walker.
I want to pick out my own clothes. I don’t know if they match, like you like, but
I know how they feel. If I match a giraffe shirt and striped shorts, I feel like
I’m at the zoo.
I don’t want to go on the potty every day. I know it makes you happy,
but it scares me to push the poop out. I don’t like the splash it makes.
Let’s just leave it inside, okay?
Who says I have to share my toys? That is not a good idea. They are my toys.
I am not sharing unless I want to. And I don’t want to!
I don’t need naps anymore. I’m growing up now. Just because I fall asleep
reading my book in bed after lunch, doesn’t mean I need to nap in the afternoon.
When we go grocery shopping, just let me pick out what I want. Grandma
lets me do that. I don’t have to throw myself on the floor and scream like
a two-year-old when I shop with her. Maybe you could try that?
Tantrums are stressful for me, you know. I get all worked up and if you’d
just listen to me, I could stop. Things that might calm me down: chocolate candy,
ice cream pops, and cheddar cheese chips, and a toy.
I like some time by myself. That’s why I play with my toys and stuffed animals.
We need to talk about things. You don’t need to listen to us from the doorway.
I can’t hurry up. I have little legs. You have big, long legs. Just slow down
and walk with me.
If I say I don’t want you to brush my hair, don’t brush my hair. I am serious!
I saw you spit on your fingers. That is not hair spray.
When you wake me up and lay in my bed and we talk about things that I like,
it makes me happy. You really don’t have to be on time for work, do you?
I’m practicing to become my own little person. It’s not easy. Some days
I’m nice, other days I’m not. I don’t know why. I’m just trying to figure it all out.
I do not like spinach. You can have mine. I can eat something else that’s green,
like Skittles and M&Ms. We will all be happy at dinner.
I really do think there is a monster in my room. It hides when it hears your
footsteps coming. If you can tip toe to my room, maybe you and Daddy can
catch it. Bring a big flashlight and candy. I’m pretty sure he likes candy.
I can hold the candy while you search for the monster. I think he’s green with
Can we please go out in the rain? You can have my umbrella, if you want. I just
want to splash and feel the rain drops on my tongue. Make sure Daddy comes
with us. Maybe we’ll see a rainbow. You like them.
I don’t like when you’re upset with me. I’m just a kid. I spill things on the carpet.
I write on walls. I get excited and scream too loud. Maybe when I’m six I won’t do
that anymore. Be patient with me.
I love you. I really do. Take a few minutes and sit with me. Just hug me and
smooch me. Remember, I’m growing up fast and I won’t be three much longer.
If you can’t agree to my list, I’m moving to Grandma and Grand pop’s house.