Men Are From Uranus

“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” was a popular book a few years ago. It listed the differences in how men and women process life. I find that they are more likely to come from Uranus. Women come from the planet Frazzled. Frazzled has not yet been discovered because every time the telescope gets near, the neurons on the planet scurry off in different directions, just like in real life

Women can multi-task. It’s in our blood. It’s a universal gene. Men, all over the world, are reading in the bathroom. There’s not a man alive who can have a bowel movement without reading something! It’s a very peculiar place, that Uranus planet.

While women can do six things at once, men can only focus on one thing at a time. I can only describe their brain like seven day pill box. You’ve seen them. They have a section for each day. The tops flip open and closed. That is the man’s brain. Each box might represent: home, work, sports, wife, kids, sex, and nothing. Only one box stays open at a time, although the sex box tries to open many times during the day. He has to intentionally cap that box shut, maybe tape it once in a while.

I find the most fascinating to be the “Nothing Box.” I’ve seen this in my own home. I’ll get home from work, feed the dogs, start laundry, put dinner in the oven and my husband will be on the couch. I’ll say, “What are you doing?” He’ll respond, “Oh nothing.” I’ll walk the dogs and when I get home he’s staring into space. “What are you looking at?” Again, “Oh nothing.” And he means it. He’s in his nothing box.

Do you know how wealthy I would be if I could sell this to women? It would top the list of things a woman can’t live without. It would beat our wrinkle cream, Botox and hormone therapy. “Get your Nothing Box now! Quantities are limited. Only $19.95 but call right now I’ll double the offer! Just pay the additional shipping.”
Better hurry, they’re selling like hotcakes on planet Frazzled.