Morning Husband Madness

       My husband left the house nine times today, before he actually left.

 

First attempt, he almost reached the car when he realized he’d forgotten his gym key.

Second attempt, he made it to the car and headed back after patting himself down in the

driveway. He forgot his wallet.

Third attempt he started the car and realized he forgot his high protein lunch.

On the fourth attempt, I was losing my patience. He forgot his mustache comb this time.

“Why do you need to comb your mustache at the gym?” I barked.

 

I‘d just brewed my coffee when he arrived again. “Can I have a cup of coffee to go?” he

asked sweetly.

I growled back, “Of course, if you promise to really go.” I brewed his coffee while

he hunted the cabinets for matching tumbler and lid. We had a dozen tumblers, but lids

were all mismatched sizes.

The fifth attempt was to fetch yesterday’s hot cup, with a fitting lid, from the car.

By the sixth leaving, my morning peace was totally disrupted. “I’m really going this

time,” he promised.

The car left the driveway.

In two minutes, he returned. “I forgot my padded bicycle shorts.”

 

He left again with a wave.

The car door didn’t even open when he returned. “Do we still have pumpkin bread left?”

This is not unusual. This happens daily at our house. Somedays I find it comical; other

days I find it maddening.

 

How can one man be so forgetful? I’m buying him a man bag to fill so this morning ritual

can stop. When I mention this idea, he reminds me that he has two bags, but he has no

idea where they are.

 

I am not perfect, mind you. I have my own memory issues. Just last week, I lied to the

doctor’s office when they called to ask if I was on my way to an appointment.

“I’m skiing in Colorado,” I told them, as I pushed the recliner button on my chair. I’d

totally forgotten my colonoscopy.

 

I am just as forgetful as my husband. It only annoys me when he does it.

He called just as I put my feet up and took one sip of my coffee. He wanted to remind me

that I had a colonoscopy scheduled next week. “No, that was today,” I told him feeling

superior that I knew when it really was.

 

Oh he did come back one more time. He forgot to kiss me goodbye.

I love this man.