This story was featured on appeared on Erma Bombeck’s site
I just vowed to reduce my time on social media. I realized that I get lost reading posts for hours. Mind you, I don’t know half of these people. They will never join me for a cup of tea or a glass of wine. I’ll never see most of them, except on social media. It dawned on me the other night when I reported to my husband:
Me: This is terrible! Mary still has her migraine.
Scott: Mary who?
Me: I don’t remember her last name, but she has curly brown hair and an ugly dog.
Scott: Is she a neighbor?
Me: I don’t know where she lives.
Scott: So how do you know Mary?
Me: On social media. She’s just adorable. She has the best sense of humor, but that dog is scary ugly.
Scott: So it’s sad news that Mary, who you don’t know, who has brown curly hair and an ugly dog, and lives somewhere, has a sense of humor, and a migraine, is worrying you?
Me: I think her car broke down, too. No wait…that was Jessica.
Scott: Who’s Jessica?
Me: She has short blonde hair, two cats and a parrot with a foul mouth.
Scott: Where does she live?
Me: I think she lives near the jungle. That’s where she got the bird.
Scott: So she just has a broken down car, two cats and foul mouth bird.
Me: And lots of mosquito bites from the jungle.
Scott: Which jungle? Is she in Africa?
Me: I might have her mixed up with Cary who likes to wash elephants in Tibet.
Scott: Are all of your friends animal lovers?
Me: I can’t be sure. I have thousands of friends. I can’t keep them straight.
Scott: So how are your local friends doing?
Me: I’m too busy to see them. Anything could happen on social media. I don’t want to miss anything.
Scott: You have thousands of friends you don’t really know vs. local friends, who would love to spend time with you. Hmmmmm
Me: Hmmmmmm….I hate when he’s right. My social media friends will have to do without me for a while. I’m making time for my “real life ” friends. You can find us in our beach chairs at Passa- Grille. We’ll be the loud ones laughing and sipping wine, while we watch for dolphins jumping the surf.
Me: Who knew I missed my real life friends so much!
Well said Annie, and so true! Enjoy your friends and your wine as they both age.