Me, myself and I Interview

I’m not as exciting or as intriguing as some women, but here I am! It’s five a.m.

and the wind is whistling outside my door. A storm is brewing this Sunday morn.

I just finished an interview for an author friend, Tracy Beckerman, and it was great

fun. I decided I don’t need to wait for someone else to ask me questions, I can

interview myself. Here we go!

Anne: What the heck are you doing up this early?

Anne #2: NO idea. Just wide awake. I’m not worried about anything. I did go over

my shopping list for dinner. I don’t know why I bother. I find the crumpled list

in the pocket of my purse when I get home. Nothing I bought is on that list!

Anne: What is your greatest accomplishment?

Anne#2: getting up at five A.M.

Anne: You and Scott have been married forty-three years. What’s your

secret to a happy marriage?

Anne #2: You must have a sense of humor. Men are seriously challenged. They

have no idea that after you spent two hours getting ready for date night, got a

haircut, new make-up, new dress and spiked heels, a wife should not have to

ask, “How do I look?”

And he better not say, “You look fine!” Should that be his response, stomp off

and cry for an hour. He will arrive and say, “What’s the matter?” This could be

a real teaching moment, or you could just say, “I married a stupid man!”

Anne: What are your favorite work out tips?

Anne #2: I’m not as athletic as my husband thought I was. He is so funny!

I like to work on my arms. I lift wine bottles and big jars of olives. Sometimes

I eat a few olives. Just trying to eat clean.

Anne: Speaking of eating clean, how’s that going?”

Anne #2 To be honest, I try so hard to be aware of eating clean. Unfortunately,

I’m only able to “clean my plate.”

Anne: Did I hear you will be in a fashion show with your friend, Jeanie?

Anne #2: Why yes, you are correct. The woman running the show said it would

be boring if we didn’t strut down the runway again. I am just hoping that the

boutique’s outfits are available in 36 Long in the chest and 46” round in the waist.I

I’d hate to have to starve myself for the show.

Anne: Word on the street is that you will start doing podcasts for Angel Bumps.

Anne #2: You are so right on your research! Excellent! I was going to wait to

drop thirty pounds, but I found a way to place the computer above my head

so I’m looking up. It makes me look angelic. It also stretches out my waddle.

Thank Heavens! It’s too hot to wear a turtle neck.

Anne: You’re getting up there in age. How you coping with aging?

Anne #2: Getting up, like getting out of a beach chair? I beg my husband to

pull me up. Once I’m vertical I do a Mary Lou Retton pose with my hands in the air.

Then I yell, “I’m a ten!” People on the beach laugh and clap, but I’m serious.

Anne: Did you ask about my hearing? My husband has been mumbling lately too.

All we do is yell, “What did you say?” all day long. He got his hearing aids

after I offered him some Hershey’s on his ice cream and he thought I said, Herpes!

“When the hell did you get herpes?” he yelled. We still can’t go back to that ice cream shop.

Anne: Let’s talk about your mental state.

Anne #2: Sure, I’m from Pennsylvania, not far from Villanova University.

Anne: We should have an interview once a quarter to see how things

are progressing.

Anne#2: Rooting through her purse…”Here you go, I know I have one

in this purse. “Ah hah! Here’s a quarter.”

Anne: “Well, thank you! That was very interesting. I learned a lot about you.”

Anne #2: I’m glad I could brighten your day, Anne.

Anne: “I wouldn’t go that far!”