My Newly Adopted Brother

The time has come to share my good news. All my life I have wanted a brother. I have three sisters. My friends all had brothers and I was so envious of their relationships. I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect brother for a very long time. I have finally chosen one.

I discovered this brother five years ago when I joined Toastmasters. He joined within a week of me. See, already the planets were aligning. He’s soft spoken. I’m not. He’s a gentle presence. I’m not. He’s health professional. I’m not. So, we have some ying-yang chemistry, just like biological brothers and sisters.

I want a brother’s intuition and expertise on life.  I’m guessing a brother’s view might be completely different than my sister’s view. He will be intuitive, naturally. I’m expanding, not just in my size, but in my view of the world. A new perspective is always good, especially from my brother.   

My brother will be able to tell me if I’m being dramatic. He’ll know when to tell me to settle down and let things ride. If my sisters told me this I would not listen, but my brother knows best.

With a sister we might discuss a problem for three weeks and not solve a thing. I think my brother might only take ten minutes to sort through the muck and focus on a solution; a great solution, no less. He would be wise and understanding. He would need to be a calming presence most days, although he’d also need a huge sense of humor. Oh! and let’s not forget patience. He’ll need patience to deal with me.  

The brother I have chosen would be my younger brother. I initially thought an older brother would suit me best, but this brother fits the bill so perfectly. I’m not sure he really needs an older sister. I’ll have to ask him.

My brother’s name is Phil. I’ve watched Phil flourish at Toastmasters from being more reserved to reigning as a great president. He also held other officer duties with ease. I’m happy my brother is dependable like that. He’s the heart of our club and is well respected. Anyone who might disrespect my brother must deal with me!

He’s the kind of brother I could call and say, “My speech isn’t ready for tonight. Can I take another role?” He always says, “Of course,” calmly and asks if I’m okay.

I watched Phil marry his wife Amanda one warm evening in a beautiful ceremony celebrated by Phil’s uncle. The warmth in the crowd was higher than the night temperature. My heart was so full of joy for them. I cried, naturally. Sisters do that for brothers, right?

He’s family man who loves his wife and son deeply. His speeches often tell of his son’s antics and his eyes sparkle when he talks about him.

We’ve watched our Toastmaster family grow through life in sickness and in health. We’ve both made good friends there. Once a week we gather for an hour and a half to share our stories and learn to be confident speakers, and so much more. There are so many people who just love my brother in this organization. It makes me proud to watch him be admired by others. I just giggle inside, “Yep, that’s my brother!”   

My husband finds my fascination with having a brother amusing, but he understands. His sister is in Heaven now and he misses that connection too. He really likes having a new brother-in-law. Actually, Phil and my husband are very much alike.

My brother is moving across the country to begin a new chapter in his family’s life. I wish him the absolute best, but I’m not happy he’s leaving. It’s an exciting time to share my brother with new people. I imagine all the lives he’ll touch.

Because I adopted him just in time, I know he will be in my life forever.

Dedicated to Philip Sullivan upon his departure.