Shrink This body

I used to have a decent body. Seriously, I can remember wearing a pink bikini on my honeymoon. My pelvic bones stuck out like a skeleton.There was a gap between my bikini and my belly. When I lifted my head from my towel, I could see myself…like my real self!

Those days are gone now. Yesterday I went shopping for new tops. I remember wearing a medium. When I got into the dressing room, I could barely get the damn things over my head. Surely this designer was of midget descent. It took me longer to get the shirt over my head than it did to drive ten minutes to the store. After all that huffing and puffing, I walked out without a purchase, but with a very bad mood. I needed to shrink this body.

I scolded myself on the drive home. “Seriously, Anne, you are out of control. You are too big for yourself.” I agreed with myself and vowed to eat less, drink less wine and exercise.

I decided to keep a food journal to get healthier. I should have know better. First of all you’re supposed to be honest. Secondly, you can’t just guess whether you had a full cup of ice cream or half a cup. To see real results this is not a guessing game. I am all about guessing since I can’t remember exactly what I ate. For instance, at breakfast I had an over easy egg with an English muffin. Not so bad, right? I did not count the tablespoon of butter because it’s dairy. I also didn’t count the half and half in two cups of coffee….again, the dairy rule.

There isn’t an official dairy rule, but in my book, dairy fights off osteoporosis. So in all actuality, ice cream should be free. In addition, whipped cream should be added to the free list.

I do count cheese because it’s cheese. Yellow cheeses gets counted. White cheese does not get counted. One exception is Swiss cheese, It gets lower ratings because of all the holes. Makes perfect sense, right?