Pillow Talk

 

At three a.m., I heard my husband wake up to go to the bathroom. When he came back to bed, I could feel his usual flipping of the covers, and he sighed deeply. Then I heard him say:

Him: “Do you think I should cut my hair?” He was silent for a few minutes. Then another deep sigh.

Him: “I am so tired lately. Maybe it’s my thyroid,” he said seriously. Silence… sigh.

Him: “I really should join that health club,” he said. Silence… a sigh.

Me:    I started to giggle under the covers, and told him to stop. I did say those things yesterday.

Him: “Have you noticed that my teeth are getting whiter?” Sigh…and he chuckled.

Me:   “I only ask that to see if my whitening strips are working,” I protested.

Him: “Why did I eat those potato chips?” he continued. Silence… sigh.

Him: “Do you think my legs are getting fatter?” he mimicked.

Me:  “Now stop!” I really think I’m getting chubby.” Why was I listening to him at 3 a.m. anyway?

Him: “I really should get a new hair style,” he continued. Silence… sigh.

Me:  “So you agree I need a new hair style? Maybe I should try a new color too?”  I asked.

This piqued my interest. I could be in a coma and wake immediately to talk about my hair.

Him: “My nails are a mess. French manicure or pink and white?” he continued. Silence… sigh.

I started to drift off, but then he started again.

Him: “Oh, these hormones! Maybe I should stop taking them.” Silence and two big sighs.

Okay, so I do say that one a lot. I am never too tired to discuss my hormone level.

Him: “I need a nap.  I’m just exhausted lately.” Silence, he yawned. I was starting to feel sleepy and yawned, too.

Him: “Maybe I should leave my hair long,” he continued. Silence… and three sighs.

Him: “Oh, I need more wrinkle cream.” Silence… big sigh.

Me:   “Thanks for reminding me,” I told him and smacked him.

Him: “Does my face look old?” Silence… sigh.

I put the pillow over my head.

Him: “Maybe I should do zumba.” He was silent for a long time… two sighs.

Him: “Water aerobics might be better.  I won’t get so sweaty.” I agreed with that idea.

Him: “I am just so confused lately!” Silence… loud sigh. “My brain must be on vacation.”

Him: “Do you love me as much as when we first got married?” Silence…single sigh.

It sounded like he was winding down. He had covered every possible thing I’ve said this week.

Him: “Remember we said we’d always kiss goodnight?”

Me:   “I do.” I kissed him goodnight and curled up next to him.

Who knew he was actually listening? I love this guy.